WEDDINGS...by JANE

In my E-mail today

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ When It Comes to Receptions, "LINES" Are Not a Good Thing! Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. Hi AAWPs: Receptions are supposed to be fun times. Lots of "Eat, drink and be merry!" But how can guests enjoy the festivities to the fullest if they're standing in lines for inordinate amounts of time to get a drink at the cocktail hour or during the dinner that follows? * While buying liquor "by the head" seems like a booze bonanza, how many drinks can 100 people drink if there's one bartender? The solution? Pay for extra bartenders. Or what if guests are standing in lines at "stations" to get a bite of food? Or how about this.... Have you ever gone to a wedding that featured a buffet that was so poorly structured that by the time the LAST tables got up and served themselves, the FIRST tables had finished eating? The FIRST tables are ready to party but unfortunately, the LAST tables have just begun to dine so the dancing, etc. is put on hold. There's no excuse for this! * When it comes to stations and buffets, it's up to you to discuss in detail with your caterer or catering manager about the number of stations and buffet lines you'll need to keep lines in check--and to maintain the flow of the party. Moral of the Story: Lines can wreck havoc on a wedding. Don't let them get the best of your wedding... (Of course, if you hire a wedding planner, you won't need to worry about these kinds of details. That's their job!) Happy Weddings Everyone!

In My Email today!

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Plan YOUR Wedding and $AVE Money with AAWP Affiliates! Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. Hi AAWPs: This week's Words of Wedding WisdomT is to inform you about all the wonderful affiliates that AAWP works with. These affiliates that can you're your wedding planning a lot easier and $ave you money besides. They incluce: Premier Bride: www.PremierBride.com The national magazine with the local flair. Get your FREE copy of Premier Bride and find all the local vendors/venues/services you'll need to plan the perfect wedding! Love Tripper: www.LoveTripper.com The place to go to plan the perfect destination wedding or honeymoon. Love Tripper is presently compiling a Romance Hall of Fame with monthly reader polls and contests. Have fun and plan at the same time! LCI Paper: www.LoveTripper.com This company supplies the stuff to make your own invitations and teaches you how to do it at the same time-a real money saver! Take advantage, too, of their FREE "how to" wedding videos and podcasts! Cake Chatter: www.CakeChatter.com The ultimate site to talk about cakes, the wedding kind. Use the "Find Your Local Baker" directory to find that designer who will turn your wedding-cake dreams from fantasy to reality! Visit these sites to take advantage of all they have to offer YOU! Happy Wedding Planning! AAWP

In my Email today-The honor of your presents - is not the request!!!!

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Asking for Gifts the RIGHT Way! Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. Today we'd like to talk to you about the right way to ask for gifts. After all, we know it's impolite to include registry information in an engagement party, shower, or wedding invitations. and what's worse is to ask for cash! The reasoning is this: You cannot dictate to your guests the type of gifts you'd like to have. and it's not up to you to tell them where to purchase them. And to ask for cash is the ultimate faux pas especially when your wedding invitation only asks your guests for ".the honour of their presence." and that's not spelled P-R-E-S-E-N-T-S. So how do you solve the problem? Spread your registry information through the grapevine. Tell your family and bridal party to spread the word. and use the Internet to your advantage. Most couples have wedding websites to provide information to their guests and family members concerning all pre-wedding festivities and parties, etc. Putting your wedding registry information on your website for your guests to access is perfectly appropriate. When it comes to showers, your hosts can be a little pushier. Maybe you'd like to go to the Caribbean on your honeymoon so your maid of honor throws a Caribbean Honeymoon Shower. When guests call to inquire, the MOH will say, "Sue and Bob really want a Caribbean honeymoon so I thought I'd help them out a bit. Bring a gift they can take with them and if you can't think of anything, greenbacks will do : -)." Although the bride and groom may never ask guests for cash, the guests may ask your family and friends and bridal parties what you'd like to have and in this case, it's OK to tell them. Happy Wedding Planning!

Great advice in my Email today!

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Preventing Guests from Inviting Guests... Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. AAWP gets lots of email about guests inviting guests. You know the scenario: Invite two people to your wedding and six show up. Some are even so brazen as to put the number of people they're inviting on the response card, for example: Number of Guests: __ 6__ AAWP recommends that you never put "Number of Guests" on your response card. In this example, guests simply "check" the appropriate response (no "numbers" allowed): The favour of a reply is requested by September fifth M______________________________ ________Accepts _______Regrets Recently, we got an idea from one of our AAWP consultants-one that will nip this problem in the bud! In the following example, the bride and groom wrote on the response card (third line): The favour of a reply is requested by September fifth Two seats are reserved for M_________________________________ ______Accepts ______Regrets This is a great idea and leaves no doubt in the guest's mind about who's invited and who isn't. With the average cost of a wedding today close to $28,000, it's time that we took matters into our own hands. A wedding is not a time to let guests invite guests. Happy Wedding Planning!

What color is your Gown? If it's white you're following a long tradition according to my latest email.

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Why "Do" Brides Wear White???? Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. We have a fun question for you this week. Why do brides wear white? We know that white symbolizes purity and virginity-but what's the real reason? The answer dates back to 1840 when Victoria, Queen of England, married her Prince Charming, Albert, in a wedding that set protocol on its ear. The young Queen was only 20 when SHE proposed marriage to Albert. According to the Royal Marriages Act of 1772, all royal marriages were to be sanctioned by the sovereign but in Victoria's case, she was the sovereign and this independent young woman was not about to ask anyone's permission to marry-a royal first. The young queen married publicly, in the afternoon, and set another royal precedent. Since royal weddings were considered too sacred for the public's eyes, they were always held very late at night or early in the morning. And to top it off, she wore a wedding dress with a plunging, SEXY neckline-a dress that would change the course of history. Victoria, instead of wearing silver, the traditional choice for royalty, wore WHITE. It was a first, and the beginning of a tradition that has passed down to us throughout the ages. But how did the color become synonymous with purity and virginity? In the sixteenth century, another English queen, Elizabeth I, popularized the color white; she LOVED IT and wore it often! Because the queen was celebrated for her chasteness (she became known as the Virgin Queen), her favorite color came to symbolize purity and virginity-and that tradition passed down to us throughout the centuries also. Today white symbolizes joy and celebration and remains the traditional color for wedding gowns. But there's no reason not to wear any color that you choose. Happy Wedding Planning!

Good advice in my email today

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Wedding Etiquette and The Workplace... Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. Weddings and work can cause stress so we're going to pose a couple of scenarios that may apply to you. You've got plenty of "friends" on the job but your budget prevents inviting them to the wedding. On top of it, they want to throw a shower for you (and you know that people who are invited to or host pre-wedding festivities must be invited to the wedding). You've also got a couple of "good friends" whom you'd like to invite? What to do? Be honest. Tell your co-workers that you appreciate the shower offer but that you'd rather have a lunch invitation. Let them know that your wedding is a close family, friend affair-with a limited budget. As far as your "good friends" from work, don't hide the fact that they will be invited. (Your "friends" will understand and appreciate your honesty.) And what about the owner of your company, or "big" boss, and then there's the manager, or the person whom you answer to? My advice: Invite them! It doesn't matter if your relationship is less than heavenly. The respect you demonstrate with an invitation can only put feathers in your cap! I offer this info since we just read an article that suggests the opposite of the advice we just gave. Here's what it said: Don't invite your boss or manager. After all, weddings are "private" affairs--but invite them to showers, etc. if you have a close relationship. What??? They're expected to go to your engagement party, shower, or both--bring gifts, you're "close" to them and they're not to receive a wedding invitation??? You've got to be kidding... But there's more: the article says that you can be selective about whom you invite from the office--but advises be "...discreet... Word travels fast around the workplace, and it's easy to hurt feelings..." Why in the world would you take this advice? Why would you hurt your boss's or manager's feelings, or treat them disrespectfully by not inviting them? And why would you chance hurting the feelings of your workplace colleagues? The former is the "yellow brick road" to a pink-slip and the latter is an invitation to a "lonely-hearts' club" because your friends will be sorely lacking. Honesty and respect are the bywords when it comes to wedding etiquette and the workplace! Happy Weddings!

In my email today.

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™

Proper Scheduling = Stressed-Less Wedding Guests!

Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved.

Today we'd like to talk to you about the importance of scheduling your reception as close to the time of your ceremony as possible. It's not only a matter of logistics and timing but of being a gracious and considerate host and hostess. Don't forget that a wedding reception is the first party the bride and groom host as husband and wife!

Too often brides and grooms schedule their weddings and receptions hours apart putting undue stress on their guests-and even on themselves and their bridal party.

A ceremony that takes place, for example, at three in the afternoon with the reception starting at seven, means that guests must get dressed and drive to a the ceremony-only to have to drive home again to wait a few hours, to get "re-dressed" to drive to the evening reception.

Here's what we mean by re-dressed: The outfits worn to a ceremony in the middle of the afternoon are not the type of clothes that one wears to a formal evening reception; hence two outfits are required of your quests.

And what happens to out-of-town family and guests when the ceremony ends? Are they to return to their hotel rooms to await the evening reception? And what if they don't have transportation? All of this puts undue stress on the guests as well as the wedding's hosts.

But there's more. A florist told us of one wedding where he found the bride, groom and the bridal party at the hotel bar after the ceremony awaiting the reception which was hours away. No amount of coaxing could drag them from that bar; they were having too much fun. Unfortunately, they were in no shape to attend the reception hours later. Photographers will tell you that while tipsy brides may be funny, they make for ugly pictures.

Moral of the story: Schedule your wedding and reception times as close as possible, even if you have to change the date to accommodate this scenario. Your guests, families and friends will be more than grateful.

Be a gracious hostess and host and just think, things may go better than you ever expected-not only for your families and friends but for you!

Happy Wedding Planning!

In my email today

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Beware! Those Terrible Time-Lines! Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. AAWP gets a ton of email from brides-to-be about "time-lines", those ugly little schedules that are supposed to be the perfect planners for the perfect day. But are they? In the AAWP professional wedding-planning course, we don't mention time-lines except to decry them. Here's why: Most time-lines look like this: 7:15 Awake. 7:30 Shower. 8:30 Bride and party arrive at hair salon... Etc. Etc. Etc. 1:00 Florist arrives, reception 3:00 DJ arrives, reception... Etc.Etc.Etc. 5:00 Bride arrives, ceremony site 5:30 Bride walks down the aisle 6:00 Ceremony ends 6:10 Photos start Etc.Etc.Etc. This is enough to make one pull one's hair out and a bride sure doesn't need a "bad hair day" on the most important day of her life. So what's the solution? If you can't afford a wedding planner in these tough economic times, then be sure to hire one to do "day of" consulting. This is a consultant who will coordinate your day for you and make sure that everything runs smoothly, coordinating your vendors, making sure they arrive on time... while making sure that you, the bride, is at the church when YOU should be, etc. and the groom, too! LOL Day-of consulting eliminates stress and not just for the bride but for her mom, too, who should be enjoying the day as much as she is. So throw the time-line away and enjoy your day, knowing that a qualified consultant is handling the details for you. She/he is the one who will tell you when to arrive at the beauty salon and what time to arrive at the ceremony. She/he will also make sure you're vendors arrive on time... and the limo, too. In conclusion: Hiring a "day-of" wedding consultant is one of the best decisions you can make and one that will turn your wedding-DAY dreams into reality! Happy Wedding Planning!

Weekly Words of Wisdom arrived by email today.

AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™

The Wonder of Beauteous Blooms!

Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved.

Everyone knows that flowers are critical to the beauty and elegance of a wedding, and always remember that flowers will appear forever in your wedding photos, which make them timeless.

Let us give you an example: Deborah McCoy often talks of the photo she has of her mother-in-law's wedding. The flowers are so magnificent that she often just stares at them in awe. Sumptuous blooms flow from the hands of the bride and her maids like waterfalls.

But this photo conveys a message. One look and you know that this wedding was an elegant affair. the flowers say it all.

So many times, we get email:

Dear AAWP: Is it OK to use silk flowers for my wedding? I'm on a budget.

Answer: Well, you might, but we advise against it. Here's why:

If you want to save money, use FRESH flowers. They are much less in price than good-quality silks-which usually cost three times more than their fresh counterparts. And take note: You don't need to use expensive flowers like lilies and stephanotis or gardenias to create an elegant look.

Why even a daisy can look elegant if it's styled elegantly.

We know that everyone wants to have flowers like the ones featured in the movie Father of the Bride, but how many folks have $30,000 to spend on elegant blooms?

Well, we say that you don't have to! To get an elegant look when it comes to flowers, you need a florist who will work with you to realize your goals-and one who will work within your budget.

To save money, put your hard-earned $$$$ in your bridal-party flowers and make your own centerpieces,

In Deb's second book, The Elegant and the Budget-Savvy Bride, she discusses making non-floral reception centerpieces. In one example, she takes fresh fruit: luscious red apples, fat green pears, and plump purple grapes, sprays them with gold floral pain, and places then in faux-crystal bowls (rented from a party-rental store, placed on mirrors and surrounded by votive candles, what an elegant centerpiece!)

In conclusion: Shop wisely, shop well, put your money in those bridal-party flowers and to save money, make your own centerpieces!

Everyone knows that flowers are critical to the beauty and elegance of a wedding and it's best to note that flowers will appear forever in your wedding photos, which makes them timeless.

Happy Wedding Planning!

In my email today, and I couldn't agree more!

Come on people.  Dress down Friday is only one day.  You showed us you can look frumpy now let's get it together and put your best foot forward. Dress UP!!!  Special Occasions requires it.  The economy was in better shape when we all "Dressed for Success."  Follow these Words of Wisdom.   AAWP's Weekly Words of Wedding Wisdom™ Dress Codes, Weddings and YOU! Copyright 2009 Deborah McCoy, all rights reserved. We at AAWP know that many of you will be going to a wedding this year-maybe even your own. But whether you're a family member or a guest, there's something about the way Americans dress to attend weddings that troubles us. We frequent a lot of weddings and get the shakes when we think of the DUDS we've seen at these sacred occasions. We've been to fantastic semi-formal ceremonies held in the morning or late afternoon, in church, no less-where female guests come in shorts or slacks, and gentlemen come in khakis. We know that many people don't dress to go to church any longer, just like they don't dress to see a Broadway show, which is a result of our laid-back society. but a wedding is a different cup of tea. A wedding is one of the most important days in the life of a couple. In some religions, like Catholicism, a wedding ceremony is a sacrament, meaning that God is in attendance. Just think about that. If God is at the wedding, what's he going to think about you, if you're dressed in khakis or shorts? :=) On the flip side of the coin, we've attended afternoon weddings in church or at a hotel or catering facility, where the female family members of the bride and groom were dressed in long, slinky, beaded gowns in the middle of the afternoon-the gentleman in tuxes. They looked like they should be going to a casino in Vegas instead of a wedding ceremony. The rules are this: * If you're a guest, and you're invited to a wedding in the middle of the day, men should wear business suits, dark in winter, light in summer. The women should wear beautiful suits or dresses, cut to the knee or below, with very little glitz. If the wedding is held in temple or church, the attire should not be flashy or provocative. * If a formal or semi-formal reception is held hours after the wedding ceremony ends, in the evening, for example, guests (if able) are required to change into flashier evening attire, which may include cocktail or long dresses for women and tuxes and business suits for men, respectively. * If invited to a semi-formal evening affair, men wear business suits; women short or mid-calf cocktail dresses, dressy pants' attire, etc. * Formal weddings, held in the evening, are a different story. These "black tie" affairs require guests to wear to come formally dressed. Women wear fancy long, or short, or mid-calf gowns. Men wear tuxes, no exceptions (they may also wear white dinner jackets in summer of tropical climates)! These rules also hold true for the family members of the bride and groom! Moral of the Story: When it comes to a wedding, dress appropriately and make everyone proud of you-even the Lord above! Happy Wedding Planning!