Wedding Notes™

 

We sell invitations and a very frequent question

from our brides concern enclosure cards. Brides to

be will tell our consultants — “I want to include

a card stating where I am registered”. Or they

will say,“We don’t want gifts. We want money.

How do we tell our guests?”

At the risk of offending our brides, we try to

say firmly but graciously, “an invitation to a wedding

is just that ... an invitation for guests to

share with the bride, groom and their families, a

celebration of marriage. IT IS NOT A SOLICITATION

FOR GIFTS.” It is entirely possible that a

guest could come to your wedding — gift-less.

You have invited the person to help you celebrate.

If they bring (or send) a gift — lovely! If

they can’t or don’t, you still welcome them. A gift

is their choice, not yours. You register for gifts at

a REGISTRY for the convenience of guests and

yourselves. Just because you have done so, does

not mean that each guest must abide by the

choices you have made. A registry is really your

attempt to “help” your guests who feel inclined

to provide a gift.

Since the Bridal Registry started in the late

1920s, guests have been able to find out where

the couple registered simply by asking family or

attendants. Thanks to the World Wide Web,

guest may now go on line to check out bridal

registries. Either way, the information they need

is available. Our answer is: Do not send enclosure

cards that specify your registry requests.

Oh — and one other thought: Requesting

money on an enclosure card is about as appropriate

as requesting money in lieu of flowers at a

funeral.